I Want to Fall in Love With YOU.

I want to fall in love with you.

No special reason behind it. I just do. As you probably know, I've been wanting a boyfriend for months now, but Lady Luck hasn't been on my side. There were a couple of guys who came along, but neither of them were my idea of boyfriend material.

I'm not saying you are, but I realized I quite like you, and that makes all the difference. I probably shouldn't have initiated the online conversation that led to this. By this, I mean this—all this talking we do through text, sometimes through chat.

I mean, it's probably nothing. But I must admit I've been deriving some sort of felicity from our correspondence, Which is probably wrong. We're friends, aren't we? For me, at least, we are. I'm too scared to ask you anything because it might put you off and cause you to distance yourself from me, so I hold myself back from throwing stupid questions in your direction and plague myself instead with torturous what-ifs lacking definite answers.

I want to fall in love with you. The want in this statement implies a consciousness on my part, a decision waiting to be made. Should I jump or shouldn't I? I really don't know. I've been trying to weigh the pros and the cons, but I have trouble organizing the chaos in my head, so I still haven't arrived at a conclusion. Only one thing has been fully established so far: I like you. And, inevitably, I find myself hoping you'd like me too.

 When such hope begins to burn in my system, I panic. And for good reason. I am putting myself in a vulnerable position because of this hope. Don't I always say that hope leads to heartbreak? And I honestly believe that. Slowly, I am becoming attached to the experience of getting good morning messages from you, of being said good night to. Then I wonder if it's you or if it's the attention I am snagging from you that has this warm feeling circling in my chest.

 I'm over analyzing things, I know. It would be much easier to just ask you, of course, but it's too risky to do so. Besides, I'm scared of freaking you out, so I'll shut up for now.

And I know you probably won't get to read this but I'm writing it anyway, just to get the shit off my head even just for a second. But I do, I want to fall in love with you But according to societal norms, it's too early for love so I will like you for now. I'll make an attempt to extinguish the tiny flicker of hope buried under my skin.

 I want to go out with you on a movie date or something. Hang out with you at an empty parking lot and talk to you about the stupidest things. But I can't ask you out. I'm not brave enough. Not because I'm scared of rejection but because it might mean losing you. And more than losing you, it's losing these things that keep me from popping the question.

And then there's you. I mean, this has been all about me, me, me so far, so let's talk about you. You do have someone you like, don't you? Maybe someone you love, even. Of course, I'm only making assumptions, and if there's one piece of advice I get told often by my friends, it's to stop assuming. Easier said than done, though.

This is so damn complicated.

I want to fall in love with you.

And if this keeps up, I might just do.

I'd do anything.

I imagine you'll appear out of nowhere. I'll be sitting on a bus full of all my friends. I imagine you will walk towards me and look at me with regret in your eyes. I imagine I'll be surprised in the expected kind of way, look back at you and shake my head because I'm tired. Tired of everything, but mostly tired of being without you. I imagine you'll simply say three sentences: I am sorry. I can't live without you. I love you. I imagine I will desperately hold back my tears, and then I will tell you I've moved on. I imagine you will get off the bus, and I will break down. He will put his strong arms around me, and I'll repeat it over and over again. I've moved on, I 've moved on, I've moved on. It will be a lie, and this will be our goodbye. In fact, I wish it was our goodbye.

It's been six months. I have imagined this every day. Honey, I'd do anything.

Like in My Dreams

First time I saw you, you took my breath away. I have never seen a more beautiful person than you. After that you were my dream, I wanted it to be a dream. You and me, forever. The thing is we don't even know each other, but when I look at you I just want to be with you and talk about all the things that are possible to talk about. I want to be in your arms and I want you to see me and love me. But this is still a dream. I know that we will never be together, but my heart really hopes that one day, when the sun is shining, that it can be you and me. I know it's too late now that you have a girlfriend. But it doesn't matter because from what I've heard, the impossible love is the strongest. So please, see me, like I saw you for the first time. I know that you can't decide what is going to happen. It depends on destiny. I want to be your destiny. I just want to get to know you, and then maybe we can be more. We can be eachother's everything, like in my dreams. Because you are everywhere in my dreams. When I have a good day, it is because you were in my dream the night before. Let me be your dream. Let me be seen by you. Let me be your everything.

Be my valentine

No podia pasar san valentin sin escribir algo para mi blog. Si, lo estoy empezando el 14 y no, no se cuando lo voy a publicar ya que el colegio consume mi tiempo, pero ya lo publicare... Anyway, quiero tocar muchos temas pero no voy a hacer un millon de entradas asi que hare una colectiva.

Historia de San Valentin
A todos nos gusta celebrar el dia de san valentin, pero alguien sabe la historia? Les aseguro que muchos no la conocen. Hubo una epoca en Roma en la que no dejaban que los soldados se casaran, por que? Porque pensaban que un soldado casado no serviria tan bien como uno soltero como las niñas enamoradas no se concentran en clases, injusto verdad? A el sacerdote Valentin tambien le parecia injusto, asi que decidio empezar a casarlos a escondidas y bueno, para resumirles la historia, el gobierno romano lo asesino el 14 de febrero. He ahi la historia del dia de San Valentin.

Forever Alone
Se que muchos yo pasaron el 14 deprimidos porque no tienen pareja con quien decirse cosas cuchis o que te mande flores. Pero ahora que lo pienso, quien nos dijo que san valentin solo promovia el amor? Por algo es el dia del amor y la amistad no? Y te puedo asegurar que amigos tienes de sobra o eres un asocial asi que pasaste bien tu 14 de febrero. Conclusion: Si te sientes solo, no lo estas.



Tradicion de las Rosas
Ya se sabe que es una tradicion que un hombre le mande rosas el dia de san valentin a una mujer. Que pasa si te llega una rosa amarilla y a tu amiga una roja del mismo niño? Seguro van a gritarle que es un perro, si esta fue tu respuesta es porque no conoces la tradicion de las rosas. Si te llega una rosa amarilla, no te emociones! Quiere decir que te quiere, pero solo como amiga. Triste? Chevere? Depende de la persona. Ahora, si te mandan una rosa roja tienes todo el permiso de emocionarte porque representan amor. Claro que no siempre se cumple, asi que asegurate de que significa tu rosa roja antes de pasar pena.

Be Mine 
Bueno y finalmente, los invito a que el proximo 14 de febrero no se lo tomen tan a pecho como este, sean optimistas si? Y si te gusta alguien aprovecha ese dia para darle algun regalo asi sea anonimo para sembrarle asi sea la minima idea de quete gusta, nada pierdes. Ademas, quien sabe si tu tambien le gustas y ninguno de los dos se atreve a decirlo? El orgullo es algo muy grande en todas las personas, el 14 es un dia para dejarlo a un lado. Pero OJO eso no quiere decir que si no lo hiciste tengas que esperar un año mas, cada dia es valido y perfecto para declarar tu amor.

Hope is the last thing to lose.

Life.

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. 

Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash! Fall in love. Get to know someone random. Be random. Say I love you. Forgive. Sing out loud. Laugh at a stupid joke. Cry. Get revenge. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Eat as much as you want. Tell the asshole what you feel. Let someone know what they're missing. Laugh until your stomach hurts.Cry until your eyes hurt. Get into a fight. Fail a test. Play. Dance with strangers. Scream. Prank people. HAVE FUN.

Don't worry too much about a problem, if you can't solve it, it isn't a problem - it's reality. And sometimes reality is the hardest thing to understand and the thing that takes the longest to realize. But once it hits you in the face you'll never forget it. It will always be there in your memories and sometimes that is the best way to look at it.

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one waits forever. In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment, and making the best of it without knowing what will happen next. Be thankful for hard times in your life. Try not to look at them as bad things, but as opportunities to grow and learn.

Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding with our minds exactly what we want our hearts to feel, sometimes we just have to go with the flow and just enjoy life.

So be yourself, life is too short to be someone else. 

Hope is the last thing to lose.

What's that feeling?

You know that feeling? When you're just waiting. Waiting to get home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day. That feeling of both relief and desperation. Nothing is wrong. But nothing is right either. And you're tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. And you just want someone to be there and tell you it's okay. But no one's going to be there. You're born alone and you will die alone. And you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you're tired of waiting. Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else. Tired of being strong, not only for you but for your friends too. Tired of faking a smile when the only thing you really want to do is break down in tears. And for once, you just want it to be easy. To be simple. To be helped. To be saved. But you know you won't be. But you're still hoping. And you're still wishing. And you're still staying strong and fighting, with tears in your eyes. You're fighting. Because after all, if you don't fight, what's there to live for? Am I the only one who knows that feeling?

Hope is the last thing to lose.

No deberia pensarte, pero te pienso

No deberias, pero eres mi sueño de todas las noches, lo unico que pienso todos los dias. Te lo niego a ti, se lo niego a mis amigas, hasta a tus amigos, porque se que no deberia, pero te quiero.
Te quiero mas que a nada y mas que a todo. Y a la vez te extraño, pero no a ti, a la persona que crei que eras. Todos piensan que ya te supere, al parecer se disimular, y es que tu lo hiciste tan rapido.
Aunque a estas alturas me pregunto si de verdad me habias superado, todos tus amigos me decian que seguias enamorado pero obvio te creia a ti. No creo que alguien pueda ser tan cruel, tu sabias muy bien que todavia te queria, aunque lo negara. Y tambien sabes que nada me habria hecho mas feliz que saber que tu tambien lo hacias. Eso ya no importa, porque ahora si estoy segura de que ya no me quieres, al menos no como antes.
No te pido que lo hagas, ni que me entiendas. Solo que dejes el orgullo a un lado, deja de actuar como si nunca hubieras sentido algo por mi, todos se enteraron de lo que tuvimos. Creeme, todos.
Y se que no deberia, pero te amo.













Hope is the last thing to lose.